I don’t understand some of these people who comes into the gym telling every fucking person that they want to compete and fight and be whatever champion and what not, but they simply don’t train hard enough. It’s frustrating to see how some of my peers do not train  AT ALL when there is no competition, they tell me its OFF FUCKING SEASON. I simply tell them that they do not deserve any off season simply because they have not reached the level whereby your fundamentals are super steady, which is why i do not have any off season. These guys train an hour’s class and expect to win during competition. They come 2-3 times a week, sweat a little and think that is hard work. I know I’m not the best athlete(although on some days i feel i am), to pick on these things but im dumbfounded at how much rest these guys take. They tell me excuses as to school and work and bla bla bla. But honestly, if you truly love a sport, would you not do your best to excel at it? Sure there are REAL exceptions on certain days, but if sacrifices have to be made, means it has to be made. 

Now to put me in my place. 
I have a shitty ass record, which i’m obviously not proud of, i’ve disappointed several people several times.  I’m sure as hell know I’m gifted with only minimal talent, but i do my best at making it up with hard work. I may overtrain sometimes but that’s only because i get scared. I get scared for the unknowing outcome of the future, so training is the only thing that keeps my doubts in check.After every loss or win, i’ve only pushed myself harder. And i’m proud of that. I may not know what lies ahead in my life or should i say, my life in this sport, but all i know is that all i can do is put in the work and let Allah put in my fate. And i think i should stop looking at these people so much, i mean, they can do whatever the fuck they want right? Being a wanker i suppose is the best outcome for them. 

Last thing i want to add is that i hope to at least complete an ironman challenge before i die/get old/get too weak. It most definitely won’t be now,although i aim to complete at least a sprint triathlon event by mid next year. I’ve only started incorporating triathlon training with boxing (third week ive started triathlon training). On top of this, i still do my regular boxing workouts, my weight training, conditioning , sprints. Only thing i’ve substituted is my old roadwork of only running. Now its replaced with biking, swimming and running. All these adds up to basically less sleep(4-5 hours,mainly because work is a bitch and takes up at least 8 hours everyday). But i do take 1 day off though, which means no training at all. I didn’t take days off previously, i only took a day of lesser training. I had burnouts like a bitch, and was mentally drained. Now, i’m more on edge. I feel better, physically and mentally. I’ve also recently just adopted a ‘i don’t give a fuck’ mentality after i came back from the penang championships, which has helped me grow a lot. I believe that i will be somebody in this sport one day, unfortunately, i have to take a longer route compared to others, but I’m working on it.

Had my grad ceremony today. I cant emphasize enough on how much i hate mass gatherings like this. It puts me extremely out of place. I felt super awkward. Pfft, but at least i got to graduate right? Yeap, but what for. In reality, i only studied to get this diploma was so that my dad would at least be proud of me. But for what now? He would not be able to see me up on that stage. Frustration overwhelmed me. I was so pissed off that my dad was not able to be there, i wasn’t pissed off at anyone, just God. It was as simple as that. I was angry at God. I’ve never been so disgusted of myself. They announced these few students who achieved so many things, some in sports, and i looked at myself and i got so infuriated with myself. I wanted to peel my skin apart until i bled to death.